The Herald is not really back up to flying speed yet but the portents for the coming year are not good. Looks like we are in for more of the same; apalling journalisitic style and meaningless subject matter.
There is a piece this morning about MPs cars written by a young (I'm guessing here) reporter of the female persuasion who appears to have green stars in her eyes. We learn that the Climate Change Minister - now there's a concept to challenge logic for starters. 'A new sunspot has been bought into being after it was tabled under urgency in the New Zealand parliament last night' - Yeah right. Anyway, the Climate Change minister is reported as saying he is 'ashamed' to own a V6 motor to tow his caravan. Really? Confessing to owning a caravan is a bit suspect, but 'ashamed' of owning a middle of the road (pardon the pun) car? He then tells the cub reporter that he 'admires' hybrid cars. If you go to Dictionary.com (and I suggest you do so on a regular basis - its like cleaning your teeth, a bit of preventive maintenance on the language front) it tells us: admire –verb (used with object) - to regard with wonder, pleasure, or approval. Hardly the word I would use when referring to a particularly unpleasant, gutless apology for an automobile. John Key is then 'shamed' into saying he's thinking of selling his big Merc (I really, really believe this) but probably wouldn't buy a hybrid because it could be regarded as a political stunt. More like 'I might sell the Merc but won't buy a hybrid because they are a heap of junk and I've got a shedful of cash so I'm in the market for a DB9'. I almost couldn't bear to read the interview with she of the need for tooth whitening and Botox. Ms Fitzsimmons has just bought a car with a sewing machine for an engine and is delighted that she can better the manufacturer's fuel efficiency numbers 'because of the way I drive'.
Spare us all this bollocks. The Herald must think we are stupid publishing this effluent. Why do it? I only read it to take the piss out of it. What is everybody else's excuse? Does anyone think that reading this tripe is going to a)influence what car they buy or b)alter the way they drive their chosen motor vehicle? In fact I may have just hoisted myself on my own petard as driving to the fields just now I switched the dashboard display to 'Fuel Consumption' and gunned the motor coming up Shakespeare Road (purely in the interests of research you understand). The beautiful whine of the supercharger filled my ears as I got the familiar kick in the arse from a four litre V8 and in the couple of seconds (and it would have been no more) that it took me to get just a teensy weensy bit above the lobotomised speed limit I managed 53.4 litres/100km. Marvellous.
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