Monday, September 26, 2011

RWC 2011 - a candle's point of view

Getting up to flying speed now. The AB's gave the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys the required trousers down, six of the best and pleasant enough viewing it was as well. But the Frogs were pissing around, surely. This amply illustrated when damned substitution time arrived in this match. I hate tactical substitution as it ruins games. A bloke breaks his leg or one of his arms falls off, then fair enough, put a replacement on. But this tactical stuff is bollocks. You spend all week in great angst picking your best team and then after 55 minutes stuff it all up by putting on your second best scrum half and your reserve first five onto the wing. Put a second rower on the blindside flank and there you have it, a very good team transformed into a middle of the road bunch of talented individuals. Except our friends (sic) from across La Manche. When they start playing the substitution game their team gets palpably better. Only inference was that the run on XV was not the best - which was what I thought from about last Wednesday. I mean I could tackle better than that recycled scrum half who ran on wearing 10. Well, I couldn't, but you get my drift.

Argentina beat Scotland with the only try of a game described in the paper this morning as one of 'dreary attrition' and will now likely have to come to Eden Park to get a trouncing before repairing to the Duty Free at Auckland Airport. Other results? Can't really remember but the time when that is an excuse no more is not far away. I told you I would get into the swing of things once we had seen the back of Namibia, Romania and Russia. And Scotland.

Driving to the fields from Obald Acres just now with Radio Sport as entertainment as is my wont in the predawn. Amusing interview with the Mad Butcher, to be fair, but my attention was grabbed by the advert following Sir Butch. This was the second I have heard of what is obviously a series put out by the New Zealand Fire Service. It is aimed at tourists here for the fun and games and is ersatz singing of foreign national anthems. Onto the tune they have grafted the words of bloody safety messages. So we had that South African anthem (which lasts about half an hour) entreating you not to 'drink and fry'. Get it? like 'drink and drive' but different. Drawing a long bow I thought but who cares? Then this morning those who go to work clad in kevlar had a go at butchering the Welsh national anthem. The only reasonable go at this I've ever heard substitutes sardines for w(h)ales but now the firemen have another go.

This load of errant nonsense tells you not to use candles in a camper van. Eh? This is a big problem in New Zealand? So big that it requires an expensive radio advert to nip it in the bud? Mortuaries being inundated with Welshmen toasted to a crisp in the charred remains of Maui's finest? This is safety nonsense in the way that only New Zealand could manage. Or no, I'm wrong. The UK could do it much better. Now I see, the advert is being run to stop all the Taffs feeling homesick whilst they are away from the Valleys. I mean all these poor Welshmen are so impoverished that they can't afford to turn on the lights in their camper vans and they are saving a few bucks and using candles. This after they've flown half way round the world, bought multiple match tickets at $300 a pop, bought a gallon of beer a day and shelled out loadsa dosh for World Cup souvenir tatt. They spend the left over lucre on candles. I don't think so.

Next well be having Hi Viz clothing catalogues read out to the tune of Flowers of Scotland. Or perhaps not as they are going home.

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