Thursday, September 6, 2007

Safety week

Theresa Gattung and Bloody Sue Bradford make the papers this morning. Both physically very unattractive but all similarities stop right there. I am astonished that one (very small) country has a diverse enough gene pool to produce two so radically different versions of the female of the species. One has an attitude to life that should be an inspiration to those who want to make their mark on the world and one has an attitude to life that should be illegal. I'll leave it to you to pin the tail on the donkey.

Vide supra and the comments on how much of my money the Government wearing its various hats throws at New Zealand's advertising agencies - and it does this without my permission.. How much would a full page ad in the Herald cost? They charge $44.81 +GST per column inch for a full colour ad and this attracts a premium of 15% if you want to specify the page on which it appears. What government department spending money that isn't theirs could resist the extra 15%. OK, a newspaper page is six columns across each of which is 50cm long so that gives us 300 column inches. Time for the sums. 300 X 44.81 = 13,443. Add your 15% for premium placement and we are at 15,460. Add the GST and a full page, well placed ad in the Herald in full glowing colour will set you back $17,292.50.

And what have I just bought for a tad over seventeen grand? A full page ad from ACC celebrating the achievements some bird who makes sure granny has a handrail in her kitchen during the day and returns home at night to provide a safe environment for her three children. We are invited to applaud this paragon of the virtues of safety. We are asked to gaze in wonderment at the way she dishes out the non slip slippers, gasp in awe as she turns the saucepan handles away from the centre of the kitchen. We have to applaud as she places safety triangles around herself before embarking on a spot of high dusting. Just look at the way she adjusts her husband's (sorry, partner's) safety harness before he stands on a chair to change a light bulb. Behold the cut of the children's fluoro jackets as they put the cat out. Why do we get all this? We get it because we are in the middle of New Zealand Safety Week.

Remind me to be on the Cheaspeake testing boats this time next year.

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