Thursday, May 1, 2008

More compulsion coming to kitchen near you

So close it will be right in your own home.

The country is going to hell on a hand cart. The economy is about to go down the gurgler. People can't afford to put petrol in the lawnmower let alone the V8. There are victims doing without food all over the show and so what does our stupid government have doing the parliamentary rounds at present? Another bit of social engineering, that's what.

And this one is a little ripper. There is a thing called The Public Health Bill skulking round the dark recesses of the Beehive at the moment doing its best to become The Public Health Act. This is a bad thing - a very bad thing indeed.

This little number would have one Government appointed bloke (or blokess if this mob run true to form) deciding what you are allowed to eat or even watch other people eat. They are even after your vicarious pleasures. The Director General of Health (and I don't even understand that bit) could decide to ban anything if he or she thought it was not 'in the Public Interest'. Chocolate eaten by the cubic metre makes you morbidly obese so I'll ban that and also the advertising for chocolate in any media you care to nominate. No discussion, no canvassing the opinion of anyone - just a stroke of the pen and its illegal. You think I'm joking?

But there is more. This Health Nazi could even force TV programs off the air if he/she thought they promoted unhealthy lifestyles. Homer Simpson is a goneburger and he'll have to take all his donuts with him. Coro Street? Gone - too much time in the Rover's Return and the chip shop. Top Gear? Not a show - all that nasty dangerous speed is exceeding unhealthy.

The Dental Nurse would surely shake her head and say I'm scaremongering. Her favourite safety net, Governmental Commonsense, will dictate that this will never happen. Bollocks it won't. I wouldn't trust this mob further than I could throw them but even if I could who in their right mind would give any Government such draconian powers to use if they so please?

The perpetual theme of we know best and you will do as you are told for you own good runs through every move this bunch of wastrels makes. If they are going to control what we eat to make us healthy (even if we want to be fat slobs) why stop with the food and advertising police? Government cameras in all our fridges with feeds to Pie HQ on the 9th floor is a logical next step. Compulsory treadmills in all homes of those with a BMI above 25. Daily usage to be monitored in the room next to Pie HQ. All treadmills to be connected to the National Grid to boost power supplies now that coal fired power stations have all been demolished. Any fatty not contributing a megawatt a year to the National grid will be shot.

Even five years ago all this would have seemed absurd. The scary thing is that now it seems almost reasonable. Wake up you dozy buggers and give this mob the flick before it is too late.

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