Well it has all come to a crashing halt sooner rather than later. Enough of pictures of pussy cats in shopping bags and let's get stuck in.
How I hate the three Ps - Process, Policy and due Procedure. If anything is done according to 'policy' it is OK no matter how stupid is the outcome. Conversely if an outcome is great but the 'process' hasn't been followed it won't do. These three Horsemen of the Dumb impinge upon my life on a daily basis. The extremes are those stupid instructions on how to make a cup of tea according to 'company policy' so that if you get scalded by the steam the company doesn't get sued - that sort of thing. I hate 'policy' with a passion at it strives to stop me thinking, making decisions about my own actions and being responsible for those actions. I will decide what I want to do and will then do it. If I stuff up (as frequently happens) it is my fault and I will not hide behind some bloody process.
What brings on this first nasal dislocation of the year? I was reading Garth George with a Marmite soldier in my hand as he was writing about deluded people. John Bracewell and Peter Dunne were on his list as were the Parole people over this Burton business. As I was digesting all this I heard on the wireless that there was to be an interview with a parole type person who was to justify their conduct over the whole sorry affair 'cos they done no wrong. This should be worth listening to and indeed it was if only to induce great waves of nausea and to put me in danger of running over pedestrians. I will stick to Hauraki on the short drive to work.
The interview was even worse than I had feared. The spokesman was a woman of the female persuasion who hailed from Blighty according to the timbre of her voice. She was an absolute pass master of bureaucratic nonsense speak and had a policy fig leaf that covered not only her naughty bits but those of the rest of her street. 'Had the offender breached parole provisions prior to December 5th?' 'I do not have information to hand concerning specific details of Mr Burton's case prior to December 5th but preliminary enquiries conducted by an interim board appointed to pursue this investigation indicate that the incident was handled in accordance with agreed policy and process'. The real answer, of course, is either 'Yes' or 'No'. And so it went on. 'How many people on parole offend?' 'I don't have those figures to hand but a majority do not offend' Note the cunning use of not answering the question. I was waiting for the interviewer to stop messing about and really put it on her. 'Your Deaprtment is a pack of wallies who couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery and when you stuff up royally like you have on this occasion you hide behind policy and no one in your worthless buraeucratic bunker will suffer any adverse consequence in their pay packet or career path' 'Policy dictates that a committee will be set up to fully and thoroughly investigate that proposition and the results will be tabled..........................'
Welcome 2007, I think I'd like my money back.
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