Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Helen, Augie and a council wally

It is about time anthroprogenic global warming got another thrashing and the Herald comes to the party this morning and quite nicely links it to another load of bollocks that never changes, the headmisstress's obsession with staying power whatever it takes.

There are three articles realated to climate change this moring and let us not lose sight of the fact that this means there are three fairy stories in a newspaper. I want my money back.

The Transport Manager of the Auckland Regional Council features in a piece written in 'Noddy and Big Ears go to Town' type language. This is pathetic on a biblical scale. The style of prose is, however totally appropriate for fairy stories. This plonker, who is also a member of the Green Party (what a surprise), takes his rust bucket to a new carbon emission testing station in Browns Bay and is a little miffed that he only got a green sticker for his car and not the Gold one he was aiming for. But he will 'soon be rolling up his sleeves to fit the new set of sparkplugs that will fix this'. He will then be able to sport his new gold sticker like all the North Shore City Council cars managed to get 'much to the relief' of Mayor George Wood. I grew out of this style of journalism (sic) at about the time I got over my crush on Amanda Stoyle - which was well before England won the soccer World Cup.

Global warming part two is the avuncular Augie Auer taking on NIWA's Jim Salinger. Augie quite rightly points out that carbon dioxide has nothing to do with global warming and that Kyoto is a crock - you know, all the thinking man's stuff- while Jim witters on that the Northland floods are just a warning of what we have in store if we don't all become carbon neutral. Crap. I feel like taking my shoe off and doing my Nikita Kruschev impression. There is no bloody evidence, you plonker. Listen, will you? You and your ilk are peddling a load of bollocks. What you are selling doesn't exist. Man made carbon dioxide has nothing, nix, nada to do with climate change. Comprende?

Which brings us on nicely to Helen Clark, if you will pardon the oxymoron. You will see that Winston has looked up from the Bar on his latest overseas junket to decline his vote for adoptinig Trotsky Bradford's abbhorance. Helen now don't have the numbers and so the government drops the Bill wrapped in excuse number 452(b) - 'How to get out of something you wish you had never started without appearing to have backed down' for the use of. Colin James write a piece about Helen's new direction, that of leading Aoteoroa into the future as the world's first carbon neutral country. She will do this because continuing with same old same old is getting her nowhere fast. Health service a crock, the Police smelling horrible, NCEA incomprehensible etc etc. It is likely John Key will fare better batting on these wickets. So she nails her colours to the global warming mast. Two things here. Colin James points out something I had not stumbled on. In order to pursue this she has to back track on some of the things the socialists have stood for and, for example, Colin highlights the lifting of import quotas so the masses can afford vehicular transport. She now has to persuade her electorate that they have to forgo the 1984 Corolla in order to save the planet. Will they wear it? Some very clever politicking required here and even I have to admit that is what she is good at. It is also pointed out that she will have to do some fancy footwork surrounding the behemoth that is the RMA; but we needn't go into that now.

All this gives me some hope. Why so? Because she is effectively staking everything on a concept that is fatally flawed - there is no such thing as anthroprogenic global warming, remember? This is going to be a close run thing. At the moment the Emperor's new clothes are looking jolly fine all over the world. However, sooner or later something that is absolute crap will be recognised as such. We just need lots of small boys in the otherwise sycophantic crowd (maybe just one - Augie, Leighton Smith, me will do) to point out the bleeding obvious to those who are so blind they will not see.

And then she's gone. Luverly.

No comments: