NZ off the planet

Best we leave New Zealand this morning. Granny full of same old, same old. Global warming makes an unwelcome return with an article lauding a new book written by some academic who resides in a nikau whare living off the land in Otago. Idiot. Claims NZ will become the 'lifeboat of the world' when the polar ice caps melt. He is constantly being contacted by friends (carrier pigeons presumably bring these missives) who ask him when is the best time to return to Aoteoroa so as to be safe from the ravages of climate change. You see NZ is relatively safe as we are surrounded by the South Pacific ocean which will keep us cool. Idiot. He looks forward to the days of wine clippers delivering pallet loads of Chardonnay to Europe a la Cutty Sark and even supplies a picture of a freighter with a kite surfer entangled in its bow to illustrate his point. Idiot. He advocates stepping up possum eradication so that forests will regenerate to offset our carbon footprint. Idiot.

Speaking of idiots there is a picture of Nandor Rope Head. He claims the Nats who are refusing to go on the junket to Melbourne are guilty of dereliction of duty. The bottom of this totally forgettable piece tells us that MPs are entitled to business class travel but can ask to be downgraded to economy. Yeah right. As an aside (and he is certainly worth no more) old hemp trousers fronted up at my daughter's (the art history student daughter, not the dentist) undergraduate class to talk to them about stuff. I will be onto the curriculum unit of Victoria University as soon as they are open to ask what the hell is going on but that is besides the point. Any way #2 daughter texted me in high dudgeon after his session saying why should he be allowed to go around telling people he is part of an oppressed religion because smoking dope is illegal. The most sensible question my daughter has asked since she enquired as to why our tongues were wet - and that was seventeen years ago. And, yes, ladies and gents, you and I pay his salary.

No best we get out of New zealand altogether. There is a syndicated piece just to the south west of Tapu Misu that tries to put a bit of perspective on the world is going to hell on a handcart view of life. You know the stuff - opressed people, the satan United States, climate heading inexorably towards being a clone of Saturn. Usual stuff. The truth in fact is very far from that. History - proper world history - is a litany of pestilence, war and destruction. We haven't had a world war for over half a century and there is very little prospect of ever having one again. In general world economies are in a better shape than they have ever been and the main problems are just wee blips on a generally rosy landscape. Most of these blips are George W but his use by date is nigh and proper thinking developed man can soon continue his march towards proper broadband andoverpowered motor cars for all.

Beats worrying about delaying a motorway extension because they have found some buried charcoal and shells under a pohutakawa tree. Oi, World, can New Zealand please get back on board?

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