I am an angry man. In fact I am so bloody cross that I couldn't finish the paper this morning and I still have a Marmite soldier stuck in my craw.
I cruised past the meaningless front page and had a quick ogle at the QM2 graphics on A2. I like the propulsion system - a bit like four Volvo IPS drives on steroids. My ire began to rise when I got to A3. Headline was something like 'Road toll plan to go to second stage'. Vide supra what we mentioned yesterday, isn't it bloody typical. Instead of doing things we study them or form consultative bodies around them. We should call this the 'Mirror Government' as they are always looking into things. That we are studying something, therefore, came as no surprise. That this art form has now grown a second stage is a bit of a worry and I now would not be astonished if a third and fourthstage are just around the corner. The thing that got me grinding my teeth though was that Stage One had lasted a year and had cost $2.3 million. How? How the hell do you spend $2.3 million in just one year studying something that doesn't exist? How? Come on tell me. A Business Class round the world air ticket is about $10,000 so that is 230 trips. Is that how they did it. How much paper and how many pencils can you buy for $2.3 mil? I am astonished at how they can fritter away my Aston Martin money. Is the second stage going to be any cheaper? I don't think so. By the way, road tolls and central city congestion charges are a very good idea and they work. Start building the gantrys on Monday - you'll get quite few for $2.3 mil.
Shake head and wander on. Nothing much until we get to A9 and then I really got very irate indeed and am still so. I think we may have touched on this barmy idea that Auckland City Council have concerning billboards and signage before. In brief those who howl at the moon think by removing all billboards and reducing all shopsigns to the size of an A4 sheet of paper Auckland will be transformd nto the eigth architectural wonder of the world. They site Paris as an example of what can be done. Paris starts with a heritage stretching back five, six hundred years and is full of stone buildings of great architectural merit of similar vintage. Auckland has a history of just over a hndred years and is full of crap wooden building stock. Wood rots (I read it in a book) and wooden buildings are not going to be around in centuries to come whatever the size of the signs on them is. OK so the plan is Barking. But the looney left led by Trotsky Hucker, he who pulls Big Ears' strings, has decided that the Signage Police will come into existence. But first we have go through that uniquely Kiwi institution 'the consultation process that we have to have even though we have made up our minds what we are going to do and we are going to ignore'. To make this process quicker they have appointed a chair and committee to hear submissions on this that have already come out in public and said they are all for the signage Armageddon. This is unbelivable even by local standards. Bloody Hucker then wants us all to be assured that the committee 'are people of great integrity and can be relied on to make impartial decisions'. I am speechless - well almost.
Listen up, Sunbeam, you and you sort are a randomly rearranged collection of amino acids that I would not give the respect of treading on. You are an empty headed animal food trough wiper. Your mother was hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. I blow my nose at you and fart in your general direction. You and yours are beneath even the lowest form of contempt imaginable and you will not foist your odious form of thought and behaviour control on me or my family and then expect me to pay you to do so. You can all sod off, the lot of you. If I ever see any of you anywhere near my house I will get my battle group moored off Milford Beach to reduce you to the pile of dust you deserve to be. I like to lead a peaceable life and you have put me in the foulest mood I have been in for months and I don't like it.
I've no idea what is in the paper after A9 as I couldn't read it through the red mist. I'm off to kick the cat.
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