Monday, December 10, 2007

I'm a worried man

After my foray onto the government's sustainability website on Friday evening I found myself not racing straight past the green hued pages of the paper this morning - I actually paused, for oh - thirty seconds, before racing onto the editorial. Am I turning green? How do I get cured? Is there no hope for me at all? Is this what happens if you look at a Government website for even a few minutes? Is it like P, one puff and you're goneburger? Is it no use for me to say 'I am really sorry and I won't look again'? I only followed two links - honest.

I might be alright though. My thirty second dalliance on the Green pages just raised my circulating titres of bullshit antibodies to what I hope will be remedial levels. There was a section on green Xmas presents. Now this is a worry. The Herald has laudably been in the forefront of lambasting the gummint over the damned EFB and now here they are spouting the same bollocks as is on the Sustainability place. They were harping on about a sutainable Xmas, remember. I can only hope that the editorial suite of the Herald is geographically far removed from the nikau whare where the loonie green part of the paper is assembled.

Anyway back to the green Chrissie present. The tofu munching nutters ask this very pertinent question. Do your kids really need that trampoline? The inference is that you will answer no. The seeds for discontent are already sown. The alternative? A goat. Yup, a goat - or chickens. But there is more - this is a commercial after all. Little Johnny (and/or Jane) doesn't actually get the goat. A picture of a generic caprine beast is probably going to be the closest they get. The goat is given to a family in Burkina Faso - or Somalia, or Chad, or Kaiwaka. OK the scene is set. The stockings are put out and a glass of soya milk is placed by the hearth a fortnight tonight. Kids go to bed and leap up the next morning at dawn and pull the curtains back to gaze into the garden the new trampoline to behold. And what do they see? A picture of a goat. In Africa.

I thought we were trying to reduce family violence.

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